Stress Relief

Emotional pain is hard, but just like a muscle ache, there are relievers.

Tonight I’m struggling, after having pushed myself far out of my comfort zone. I feel absolutely horrible, and…well, I wish I was happy I did it regardless. At this point, I’m still de-stressing from it, and the emotional pain has me in physical convulsions.

I still haven’t mastered how to relieve it, it’s something I’m supposed to practice while I’m feeling good so it’s easier when I’m not. But when you’re not feeling good, not only is it hard to feel better, it’s hard to want to climb out of it.

It’s hard to explain, and rather horrible in and of itself, but once you feel like this, it’s so much easier to stew in it than to climb out. There’s some flawed human aspect that gets stuck in a rut, stewing in life’s unfairness, reveling in how bad it is, and it’s not easy to decide to not be like that anymore.

Once again, it’s like there’s multiple parts to a single brain– we humans are so complicated, having contradictory emotions simultaneously. However, though it’s difficult, I’ve taken a step in the right direction with getting help from a therapist and prescribed drugs.

Besides that, other things that relieve me are exercise, playing piano for pleasure, listening to music with my nice headphones, browsing the interwebs, laughing with friends, talking it out, and writing it down. But because these things are not always available, there’s also a technique I’ve been working on, called mindfulness. It’s a sort of meditation, about being centrally focused on whatever you are doing, precisely in the present moment, and it’s much harder than it sounds! I never noticed how my brain flits back and forth until I tried to focus on the present.

One little trick I’ve come up with in the past day is imagining my body creating change in the world. For instance, on my mail run today, with every step I was imagining my feet being like lead, cracking the floor and leaving foot prints trailing behind me. Or, in the shower as I was washing my hair, I was imagining I was washing my hair invisible. It sounds silly, and it absolutely is, but it helped me be present, and out of my negative thoughts, and gave my brain a break.

Having written this down has helped immensely, as has visiting with my roommates. Although it’s not going to be cured instantly, it’s important to be constantly aiming for improvement, and that is what I tried this evening– it’s all we can do, a little at a time.

Give yourself a break, take a moment and be mindful, it’ll get better!